I have started to really network like crazy on MySpace these last few weeks and it has been paying off in spades as I have met a ton of great bands, labels, P.R. people and fans but it certainly can consume a lot of your time if you are not careful. I am now hearing a lot about Facebook and I am wondering, should the Rock and Roll Report be on Facebook as well?

MySpace is great for bands and labels which is the main reason that I am there but how is Facebook in this regard? Anybody on both or who has ditched one for the other? I am not looking at MySpace or Facebook as a place just to idly chit chat with people but as a true networking tool to meet people interested in playing, listening to or releasing great rock and roll.

Any thoughts?

Thanks. Later.

Mark

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Due to the extended long weekend to celebrate Canada Day, the Rock and Roll Report will return on July 3rd, 2007.

Thanks for reading!

Later.

Mark

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When Paula Abdul sang:

Straight up now tell me
Do you really want to love me forever oh oh oh
Or am I caught in a hit and run?

I thought she was talking about some dude, not how she likes her gin.

Bottom’s Up, Girl. Keep Rawking!

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Jim Dupree is a hopelessly, inept boner. Pass it on.

The unfortunately retired, Jim Dupree : Enthusiast video pod series answers the question, what would Charles Schultz have done with Charlie Brown had Chuck been hit by a bus and lobotomized in his teens? Jim Dupree is a tortured, scattered Charlie Brown with all the charm of a bush league baseball team of doorknobs. How can you not adore this human car crash? How can you not rubberneck as he details in minute detail the many, varying topics for which he demonstrates enthusiasm? You rock, Jim. We salute you!

Jim is enthusiastic about hitchhiking:

MORE JIM: Jim Dupree : Enthusiast on You Tube

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Who hasn’t had to take an emergency dump at one time or another?

The worst outcome is usually soiled underpants. The video below demonstrates that emergency dumps can be brought to all new levels. God Bless Evolution.

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… into a plate full of salad.

The great Diamond David Lee Roth, the only Sugartune-recognized singer of Van Halen, has been caught filling his face with salad. At the rate he is taking it down, we judge his blood-sugar level to be LOW.

EYOW!

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I’ve been thinking about taking up smoking.

I know it’s bad for my health but I like the idea of hanging outside of the office building and flicking my cigarette butt at people I don’t like.

Disdain that bites.

I think this may be a great way for me to stand out from the crowd. By flicking butts in disdain at different people, I’m opening up a whole new world of observation and storytelling. The possibilities are endless with a cigarette in hand.

Just picture it. A thirty year old balding man standing next to an office building finishes up his cigarette. Suddenly, a pack of wolves runs down the street and mauls a mother with her child. Without having to go out and smoke, I would never have been able to witness this tragedy.

Let’s face it. The cigarette is an apathetic person’s last form of freedom. It’s the epitome of an uncaring attitude, as an individual who smokes is not only throwing his or her own life away, but is directly affecting those around him or her as well. It’s the ultimate diss to health nuts and people determined to live until they are 150.

A smoker looks at the Surgeon General and shrugs. He or she is attempting to explain to our rule driven society that chaos is always just around the corner. He or she is rejecting the values put forth by North American society and creating their own rules for the sake of the individual. It’s a conscious attempt to live outside of the status quo with little or no regard for healthy living.

Rock on smokers.

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Wasn’t there an episode of the Simpsons based out of Toronto, Canada?

Seems the show’s producers left one of the characters behind. The Crazy Cat Lady is currently doing her thing on the city’s main drag — weighing in on the country’s bilingualism. Perhaps we can attribute her near coherency to Canada’s Universal Health Care and Cheap Meds. Damn she’s even starting to look a little sexy in a ‘laugh while you vomit all over yourself’ kinda way.

View the Crazy Cat Lady in Human Form (QuickTime Movie: 1.8M)

Where did the Real Live Crazy Cat Lady’s furry friends go? After viewing the movie above, you may insert your own feline anatomy metaphor here.

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Lack of ambition may sound like a tragic tale of laziness but really it isn’t.

We’re on top of the world, looking down on a creation…

In fact, I’ve managed to work my way out of many incidents of stunted ambition and pushed on to create a bright new future for myself. Somehow I managed to reject these false notions of self and moved on to a brave new world. I became a protagonist once again and instigated the come back tour of a lifetime. The madness and mayhem are behind me now.

Tragedy can be seen in many lives but not in mine. Although I do have more than one unfortunate tale from my past, I fail to live up to any Greek form of tragedy. Even if a person did consider my conditions tragic, he or she would only have to think of all the people killed in their attempts to achieve greatness or perform goodness to see real tragedy. These are people who actually attempted to achieve something but were somehow destroyed or struck down by forces beyond their control. This is what tragedy is about. It’s a fall from grace. It’s the hopeful who drops the ball and who never recovers.

It’s a thankless world out there and only those who attempt to act with ambition and failure can adopt the term tragedy to their lives. If you are fortunate enough to lose it all or die in the process then I salute you. You are benevolent beings to which everyone should ascribe. It is this type of behaviour which will recreate a pleasant world for all. Without tragedy, our lives are meaninglessly bound to safety. They are simply constructs and abstractions within a network of control. Fortunately, there are a few men and women out there who truly live their lives to the fullest.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m one of them.

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I know how hard it is ‘out there’ for single folk. I used to be one of them.

Hi. My name is Mr. Gringo. I am fond of Dry Humping. Am I the man of your dreams yet?

Ever since I married a box of pornography though, my life has been nothing short of sweet, sweet happiness. Just last week I came back with it from a most wonderful Caribbean resort where we carried on like the first day I had discovered it at the end of Mr. Banister’s driveway on garbage day.

Ever walked along a seemingly unchartered beach in the sunset with a box of porn? T’was as beautiful as it sounds.

For shits and giggles I peruse the on-line dating services to recall the days when I, too, was lonely and looking for love. Low and behold I met up with Mr. Gringo from Sugartune.com pimping his wares. I swear this ‘dude’ is a total douche bag. If you don’t believe me have a look at his on-line dating profile.
CLICK HERE: Mr. Gringo’s profile at loveaccess.com

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On every road trip, there is a point of no return where a person must come to terms with their borderline alcoholism.

Sometimes the only way to feel good or to rid one’s self of a hang over is to have a drink for breakfast. On my last trip to British Columbia, Canada, a good friend of mine, Jackson, was faced with this same dilemma and although he fought with some serious inner turmoil, he knew there was only one solution.

Fortunately, I was present to document the occasion.

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So you’re going to spend the next 5 to 10 years doing 5 to 10 years.

Don’t sweat it. I found a guy fresh out of THE BIG HOUSE who is willing to give you the ol’ ins and outs of prison. Of course there are no freebies on his website. Nothing is specifically mentioned. You must pay him first for the inside scoop. What was he in for? I hope not fraud and racketeering. I don’t want any phony-baloney, prison-rape stories. I’ve seen Bad Boys with Sean Penn and Stir Crazy with Richard Pryor. I want the real mccoy — the sweat, the blood, the tears, the even more blood.

To digress, it appears prison is a great place to lose weight. Perhaps time in the clink will be THE new diet craze!

Thanks to Prison — No More Love Handles!

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Make a foe a friend and lick the stuffing out of him/her/it!

Let’s see more of this spirit from the crowd!

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You should see it! It’s really pathetic.

I’m beginning to believe that poinsettias are the worst plant on earth. Why is it that a plant with a high sensitivity to cold air is considered the Christmas plant?

I would like to meet the genius who placed this fragile plant as a symbol of Christmas given the frigid temperatures in which Canadians and Europeans dwell. I don’t mean to sound ethnocentric but let’s face it; most of the world celebrates Christmas during the winter and experiences winter.

How did this plant become so prevalent during the holidays? I only ask because I’ve been given a poinsettia by my boss and I have absolutely no use for it. Not only can I not take it home due to the cold weather but it is continually losing leaves due to bursts of cold air from the outside. You should see it! It’s shrivelling up and its leaves are falling off. It’s really pathetic.

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I’ve been working steadily today. It’s quite nice to have a feeling of control and preparedness. It makes me look forward to the week end and my life outside of the office. It’s quite a different world out there.

There is a plethora of possibilities and I want to experience them all. Unfortunately, I don’t have much time to do anything aside from the mundane. However, within a few weeks I should have some spare time to devote to the bigger picture and my future within the system. Of course, there is always a bigger picture beyond my big picture. This is the picture of humanity and the manner in which we treat one another through the run of a day. What I mean to say, is there is a picture beyond that of North American consumerism. It’s a third world perspective where people must really work in order to survive. Although this may sound like altruistic bullshit, I would really like to help these people.

I suppose this is my humble attempt to extend myself beyond the narcissistic tendencies which are so prevalent in the world today. On the one hand, I want to reject my own needs and focus on the needs of the poor, but at the same time, I don’t want to become one of the poor myself.

This is where we all seem to hit a bit of a conundrum. You often see it in Christianity and in big corporations. We want to take care of the world but not at our own expense. We want to live in a community but we also want to live as independent, self-sufficient and autonomous entities. We want to help other people but only when our needs have been met. We want to be better people but only when it’s convenient for us to do so. In a sense, we only want to act in an ethically correct manner when there are other people watching, and only as a means of distraction from our narcissistic behaviour. Somehow, the bad, ignorant actions of everyday life are justified by our good and conscientious behaviour. So, we can be bad, narcissistic people as long as it’s not in front of other people.

So, to sum up, today I’m going to focus on myself, tomorrow I’m going to focus on Africa and maybe the day after I will focus on the world.

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Hi Honey. I’m Home.

You blogging bastards are all the same. You invoke or appeal to raw emotions and disregard fact altogether.

I’m attempting to stir up controversy to increase traffic to the site. I think I might have something here though. As opposed to raw facts, I will appeal to people strictly at an emotional level. I will create a visual image to draw in the reader and then exploit this image or narrative to convey a message of pity, respite, happiness or madness. I’ve got it all worked out. I just need to find something I’m passionate about in order to corrupt everyone with. I don’t want to corrupt people with mundane topics like the environment or third world debt. I would much rather insight hatred towards those who don’t use commuter mugs or who come to work late everyday. I might even bring in a guest in order to illustrate my point. We could go far with this thing. By studying the basics of pop culture, we can claim an audience of our very own. We can push controversial ideas for the sake of an audience and disregard true issues altogether.

Who’s with me?

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After a hellish ride on the bus, I was able to reach the office without any sort of interference. Although some mornings are filled with street types and whatnot, today the streets were void of any such money seekers.

As for the bus, I think the driver may suffer from obsessive compulsive acceleration, as he would hit the gas the moment all the passengers were aboard with a sudden and violent thrust. He must have been under the impression that we were all in a hurry. He was constantly pressing his foot against the gas pedal with a sense of urgency. I’m afraid his fight or flight instincts must have been crossed or in flux as he repeatedly hit the gas with sudden bursts of enthusiasm. This was all very annoying as his technique was forcing my body to jolt forward and back. This was most uncomfortable but not uncommon with City Transit.

The mood on the bus was sombre as per usual. There aren’t too many conversations in the morning. Passengers usually just sit back and look out the window in a daze. It’s a sad state but one that is common throughout the world. Mornings are reserved for contemplative thought. It allows a person to plan out his or her strategy for the day. This reflection is necessary in the execution of daily affairs. It may seem haggard or depressing but it is a necessary fact of life. It’s all part of our ability to shed our stressors and focus on the task at hand.

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