I’ve been thinking about taking up smoking.

I know it’s bad for my health but I like the idea of hanging outside of the office building and flicking my cigarette butt at people I don’t like.

Disdain that bites.

I think this may be a great way for me to stand out from the crowd. By flicking butts in disdain at different people, I’m opening up a whole new world of observation and storytelling. The possibilities are endless with a cigarette in hand.

Just picture it. A thirty year old balding man standing next to an office building finishes up his cigarette. Suddenly, a pack of wolves runs down the street and mauls a mother with her child. Without having to go out and smoke, I would never have been able to witness this tragedy.

Let’s face it. The cigarette is an apathetic person’s last form of freedom. It’s the epitome of an uncaring attitude, as an individual who smokes is not only throwing his or her own life away, but is directly affecting those around him or her as well. It’s the ultimate diss to health nuts and people determined to live until they are 150.

A smoker looks at the Surgeon General and shrugs. He or she is attempting to explain to our rule driven society that chaos is always just around the corner. He or she is rejecting the values put forth by North American society and creating their own rules for the sake of the individual. It’s a conscious attempt to live outside of the status quo with little or no regard for healthy living.

Rock on smokers.

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